My friend or
should I say my best friend for the past twenty two years hurt
me financially and mentally due to his gambling addiction. I am
annoyed and embarrassed for allowing this to happen to me.
I still love my friend but it's hard to be part of his life.
I haven't found a way to forgive him. The last two years
of our friendship was full of deception and manipulation.
He tried to tell me, he didn't know how it happened. I
refused to believe him. He currently lives in a
mental institution since he tried to hurt himself several times.
His self esteem was at the lowest. I was not helping him and
pushed him away with out listening. I did not understand
what he was going through. I forgot we were friends for so
many years. I finally decided it was time for me
understand what was happening. I realized that this was
just like any other addiction. I have now started to visit
him one day a week. It looks like they are going to let
him out with in the next two weeks since he has made good
progress. I don't know why but I still want to be part of
his life. I pray every day for him.
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My friends in jail and I never knew there
was a problem. He went to work everyday and was always
pleasant and friendly. I never knew he was secretly in
pain and indebt. One day I received a call from his sister
letting me know he was arrested for robbing a grocery store.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He had gotten
himself into so much debt he wanted to place one more bet with
the dream that he would win back all the money he lost plus
some. He's in jail right. Since this was his first
crime he will be out in six months. He lost his job,
friends and even some family members are not speaking to him. If
no one can see symptoms of a gambling addiction then how can you
help someone before it becomes to late? This is how I felt
for a long time. I then realized there were some symptoms.
For example he became very cost effective with everything.
He no longer took vacations. He would disappear always on
Tuesdays where no one could locate him. He was always
talking about some day he's going to be big. He wasn't
spending as much time with his friends and he even broke up with
his girlfriend.
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Thank god I found out that there are other people in the
world who understand what has happened to me. My friend the gambler.
I knew she had a problem, but it wasn't my business and it appeared she was
financially sound. Then one day there's a knock at my door. My
friend was there hysterically crying. She was in debt and needed help.
We sat up and talked and she had no idea how this happened. Just a year
ago she was gambling fifty dollars a week., Now she was gambling four
hundred dollars a week. I was shocked and tried to be supportive. I
made the mistake and gave her a $2,500.00 loan. She lost it in one day.
I now felt stupid but I learned a valuable lesson. People addicted to
gambling have very little control when it comes to paying bills verses one more
bet. I am happy to say she hasn't gambled in three months and I now help
budget.
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My boyfriend love to bet on Sunday
football. He never gambled more then $100.00 a week.
One day he placed his bet. He made an error and place a
bet twenty five times more then his usual bet of $25.00.
He won. All of sudden he took me on a small vacation to
celebrate. I was ecstatic. From there it went
downhill. He love the excitement of the big win.
He increased his weekly bets. I saw it happening, but
thought everything would be fine. I was wrong. He
lost everything and also did not want to see me anymore.
He was ashamed. I told him I didn't care, but he did. He
moved out and I didn't hear from him for three months. By
now I met someone knew and life goes on. He told me about
reading self help manuals, going to gamblers anonymous meetings,
talking in chat rooms etc. I was happy for him, but I was
afraid he would go back to gambling. A few months later we
ran into each other, he looked real good. He had stopped
gambling and was single again. I was also single. We
wound up getting engaged and I now handle all the money.
You see signs of a problem do something about it.
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My friend needed my help, I was there.
It's so important for you to be a good friend to someone who has
a gambling addiction. It's also important that you do not
give this individual the means to gamble. When you see
signs of a problem, I found it was easier to listen and support
the person. My friend was already sorry about what
happened. He finally woke up and realized what he did.
It took for him to bottom out in order to realize there was a
problem. Now things are getting better and we talk more.
Money isn't everything and I believe this is the lesson my
friend learned through this experience. He knew what he
was doing but had no control. A compulsive gambling
addiction who would have ever thought possible?
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Helpful stop gambling tips and useful stop gambling addiction resources will also be available.
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