We were married
ten years, had two children a small house and money in the bank.
A month before our eleventh anniversary I received a call.
It was a bill collector. He told me our credit card was
over the limit of fifteen thousand dollars by two thousand two
hundred twenty dollars and the account would be two months
behind in three days. Could I make a payment over the
telephone. I told him I would call him back When my
husband came home I found out we were seventy thousand in debt,
we were going to lose the house and he was losing his job.
My perfect world crumbled. My first reaction was to leave
him. Then I remembered my marriage vows. I stuck by
him and my life began to return to normal. He stopped
gambling, found a new job and our life began again, Trust
was the hardest part, but time took care of that. We found
what works for us.
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My sister use to disappear for a few hours
every other day. I knew something was up because she never
had any money and worked a lot of hours. I thought she was
doing drugs due to all the mood swings. I asked her where
she would go when she disappeared. She told me the casino.
I now realized what was happening. My sister was addicted
to gambling, but I did not know what to say. I said
nothing until I had the chance to research gambling addiction.
I learned a lot and now I was convinced she had a problem.
I purchase the self help manual and sent numerous emails to stop
gambling sites so I could be ready to confront her. I
confronted her and she said yes. She also told me she was
trying to stop for months, but didn't know how. Together
we confronted the addiction and I am happy to say she has
stopped gambling by taking it one day at a time. We are
now closer then ever. I recommended additional support.
She went to a gamblers anonymous meeting and also relied on a
private gambling chat room.
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My brother and his family live next door to us. He
was always coming over to borrow money. I also knew he borrowed a large
sum from his mother. I knew he gambled but I couldn't imagine a person
losing that much money. I also didn't want to loan him any more money nor
did I want to enable him. However I wanted to help him. I confronted
him and we got into a huge fight and he walked out. The next day I called
him and we talked. He left my house that night and placed numerous bets on
football. He lost every game and lost another three thousand
dollars. He was out of control. My brother had hit bottom.
I helped him to rebuild his life. He slipped up a few times and
placed a bet. To people who are going through with their own family, I
believe if you take the time to listen and most important don't judge, things
seem to go into place faster. My brother was suicidal and had no will to
live. By helping him one day at a time he slowly increased his self esteem
and I realized he was on the road to recovery.
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My nephew was captain of the football
team, extremely popular, good looking and a great son until
everything came out in the open. He was secretly gambling.
At first it was twenty dollars a week then fifty then hundred.
Money ran out, borrowed from friends, loan sharks and even
depleted his college savings account. He never stole so he
wasn't in trouble with the law but he was receiving death
threats from the people he borrowed from. Everyone wanted
to help him but they didn't know how. He lost all his self
esteem and respect from the community. It was a small
town.. His family decided to sell there home and move in
order to give him a new chance at life. What they
didn't realize was things were not going to change unless they
got him help. After being in his new home for six months,
he found people to loan him money, worked twenty hours a week
and began to scam people. This time his parents decided
not to bail him out but to get him help. A problem doesn't
go away unless you face it.
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My wife use to go out with her friends
every Wednesday. I thought they were going to have dinner
and out to the malls afterwards. She always asked me for
some money even though she worked full time and made a good
living. I was very proud of her and she was everything I
hope for in life. Then one day I received a call from her
best friend telling me she was in trouble. I found out
then she had a gambling problem. The next week I went
through all of out joint accounts and realized everything was
gone. She handled the bills. My life turned upside
down. She was so ashamed she wouldn't even sleep in the
same room as me. I found her help and I supported her even
though I found it hard to trust her. I have changed the
way we do things now. All bills are done together and in
order for us to take money out of our future saving it would
take two signatures. I made arrangements with all the
credit card companies and am trying to move forward. We
don't have any kids yet, but I never want to go through this
again. There were so many signs that I missed, because I
trusted her. I found a combination of different programs
worked for her. It's to soon to tell, but I hope we will
always be together, but to be honest it's very hard for me.
I have met other people who have been there and they all are
very supportive and believe I should help to make my marriage
work and help my wife with her addiction.
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As an I Stopped Gambling member you will have access to a 24/7 online stop gambling chat room and message board.
Helpful stop gambling tips and useful stop gambling addiction resources will also be available.
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