Looking back over
the past five years, I realized I lost a good portion of my
life. I remember the pain and the continuous deception as
I awoke each and every morning. I lied to my wife and I
lied to my friends. I can not believe how my personality
changed as I became more and more manipulative over time.
I knew I had a problem. I did not know how do I face it
when I lost all of my money, maxed out my credit cards and kept
this secret from my wife and kids. I was a good husband
and I was a good person but life all changes as I became more
and more involved with gambling. My wife now found out
since bills were mounting. I sat down and told her what I had
done. She was in shock and disbelief. She told me
either to get help or get out. I found your website and I
am glad I did. I grabbed on and have not let go.
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My
gambling addiction is something that
took over my life. I could not see it coming and I never
realized it had me. Most people around now know that I was a
compulsive gambler. There response was “poor you no”.
It was not possible that I could be a gambler. When you wake up
you find out what you have done and you refuse to believe it.
I realized actually finding out or waking up was my catalyst for
recovery. Recovery was a process of finding myself again, and
leaving my addiction behind.
I
feel the addiction will always lurk in the background but I am
working hard on myself to avoid future pitfalls. I learned
gambling is of the mind and it plays tricks with your logical
thought and convinces you that you can beat the odds. The fact
of the matter is that the odds are a mathematical certainty so
the middleman cannot lose, but you always will. My mind
was convinced that I don’t have to work hard to obtain money in
that humdrum way of life, but I can win money easy by many forms
of gambling. My mind is now open
as I take it one day at a time.
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It was Super Bowl
Sunday, I had thousands of dollars riding on the game.
This was my make it or break it day. I was so indebt and I
had everything riding on it. This was not the first time I
was in debt. I was lucky or you may even say I was
unlucky, because the destructive cycle continued. I
finally lost it all and I had no where to climb but up. I
thought about hurting myself because I felt I had no reason to
live. I finally told a friend what I had done. She
told me it was time to get some help with my addiction. I
did and here I am today. I remember the pain I was in.
I remember feeling ashamed. I still feel ashamed but as my
self esteem grows I started to realize this is a true addiction
just as alcohol and drugs are. I went to a few Gamblers
Anonymous meetings and learned a lot more about myself. I was
not alone. This was fantastic and I quickly began to do
research and I found your site. I have not gambled
since August 19, 2004.
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I was raising two
kids by myself. A friend took me to play bingo. I
won $350.00. I was so excited I was able to buy things
that my children needed. What I didn't realize was that I
was hooked. Before I knew it all of my money was going to
the bingo hall. One day I needed milk for my kids and I
didn't want to spend the money because I needed it for gambling.
I couldn't believe what I was thinking. I finally woke up
and realized I had a problem. I felt so alone and distant
from everyone. I stopped going to lunch with the girls at
work. Didn't want to spend the money. I called the
local gamblers hotline and they referred me to a group that
meets weekly Gamblers Anonymous. I couldn't go I had no
money for a baby sitter, that was my excuse. I decided to
go online and learn about what I had and was there a pill that
stops you from gambling. There's no pill. I found
this site and read as much information and I continue to strive
to meet my new goals.
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My mother was
dying of cancer and she needed my help. The first two
months I made excuses why I couldn't be there. I was
slowly dying inside from the guilt of losing so much money and
from the fact I wasn't there for my mother. I knew there
was something wrong with me, but I didn't know how to stop.
I told a friend about my problem and she told me I was gambling
because my mom was dying. This made no sense to me.
I went to my doctor and he explained what was happening. I
found help through your website and I learned about taking care
of myself and how to move forward. Each day that goes by I
hear of friends of friends who lost everything due to gambling.
I do not want this to happen to me. I take it one day at a
time and I was there for the last few months of my moms life.
We had a good talk and understanding about my life and my
addiction. I am a compulsive gambler but I choose not to
gamble today.
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Helpful stop gambling tips and useful stop gambling addiction resources will also be available.
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