Emails From Around The World

Day 3 and battling – every time I think about the money I need at the end of the month, all I want to do is get in my car and go to the casino – Black Jack was my way of paying the bills.  I keep telling myself that the reason I got into debt, was gambling, and that getting out of debt is NOT gambling.  Oh why oh why do we get ourselves into this insidious way of life.  Last year I managed 9 months of no gambling but started again in January 2004 and haven’t stopped since.  The amount of money I have lost is so disheartening and depressing – the feeling of STUPIDITY is overwhelming at times.  It is like looking at someone else who got themselves into drugs, alcohol etc. and wondering why on earth they couldn’t stop.  Sometimes I feel that “the gambling Bronwyn” is someone else and not me.  Weird - it seems I am two different people.  I can’t wait for your chat room to get up and running – Gamblers Anonymous meetings don’t do it for me – think that there are too many people in the room I can’t relate to and the “sharings” seem so superficial at times. I am very impressed with your website and how you relate the gambling addiction in ways non addicts can relate. I have not gambled for 51 days and am receiving a lot of help from the people close to me and a counseling program. I am seriously thinking about trying to go public with my problem to try and educate people that live in my state. The problem I'm running into is getting the blessing from my fiancé and people close to me so I don't embarrass them in the process. Any thoughts from your point of view or outcomes that you've seen from other people that have come forward publicly. I enjoyed you website.  Thank you

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