My name is Dawn. As I sit here
writing to you I am shocked to be
faced with this situation once again
in my life. I was married to the man
I loved and planned on spending the
rest of my life with. He was one of
the nicest, hard working men I had
ever met. He has a good job, and
makes good money. A good dad and
husband. About 8 years ago he
started gambling. There is so much I
could share with you that we went
through, and I am sure that it would
relate to so many stories that you
have heard. Well it is a story that
did not end well. After attempting
to help him and having went
through every emotion that I could
possibly have gone through, from
crying, begging him, threatening
him, yelling, silence, support,
support groups and many many more
things. I just could not take the
hurt, lies and everything else that
went along with it. I had lived with
it for 7 years and decided that I
had to get out. I guess even when we
split up I hoped that this would be
what he needed to see that he was
about to lose his wife and children
and all that we had worked for. But
that did not do the trick, matter of
fact he got worse, and that I could
not believe as I did not think it
could get worse. A week ago our
divorce was final. And now I am in
the middle of a bankruptcy as he is
not paying his bills. Once again a
familiar story I am sure. I would
have done most anything that would
have made him stop, but sure could
not find the one thing I needed to
do.
Well on to the rest
of the story. A good friend of mine
has this same problem. I have stayed
out of it as I felt I would say ugly
things to her as I had a lot of pain
from gambling. I finally feel strong
enough to be a friend and not allow
my hate and anger to influence what
I may say to her. I called her 2
nights ago and told her I know that
she has a gambling problem and I
would love to help her. I explained
why I had not said anything to her
before. I also was honest about what
she is doing to her children and her
husband. Her husband, hmmmm another
problem I have with this. He is a
good man and a hard worker, but as
blind as they come. He is so unaware
of what is going on in her life. She
in the past 12 months has taken out
3 credit cards and now has them
maxed out to the tune of $27,000.00.
She has a job and does not have to
contribute to the household. The
bigger issue is she just maxed out
the cards and is not sure what the
min. payment will now be. Leaving
her to ! wonder if she will be able
to make the payment or not on them.
If not what is she going to do. I
have handed her questions like what
if her husband decided to buy a
truck, the credit check will shock
him. I want to be her friend, and
sure want to help her. I just do not
know what to do. I am also concerned
for her husband as he is really the
one that is in a bad spot as I was.
As a friend what do I do. What can I
do to help her. I know that it is up
to her, and now may be the best time
as she is in a bad spot. She is
running out of funds or so it seems
until she comes up with another way
to get the money. She is depressed
about her situation and says that
she really wants to quit. She told
me she quit 2 days ago and knows
that will not be a problem for her,
that the only problem she sees is
the credit cards. Having gone
through this I see many problems.
Please let me know what I can do to
help her. I hate to see another life
or several more lives hurt by this.
Please.
I have been reading your stories on
gambling and I am terrified. I have
a gambling problem and I need the
help before I lose my family. my
story is not yet as bad as those
that I have read but I have reached
the point where I am taking money
that does not belong to me and even
though I replace it, this does not
make this right.4 years ago I had
this problem and with the fear that
I was going to lose my husband who I
love with every breathe I take I
quit, but not totally but I wasn't
stupid any more I could spend 10
dollars and walk away. But last
month for too many reasons or
excuses I started up again, I knew I
would get busted and be in the same
situation I was in 4 years ago, but
I didn't stop. I need the support
I’ve seen in your stories and I have
enrolled in gamblers an. here where
I live but it is only once a week
and I think right now I would like
more
Every site I seem to hit offers
support at a cost and I could come
up with the $20 dollars but I don't
have a credit card or any access to
one, and I don't want to rely on
anyone but myself. I don't have much
family support as they do love me
but they hate me for what I’ve
become again and I need to and want
to stop this now by myself to prove
that it can be done. I proved it
before and I shall prove it again.
I am not a high roller like in most
stories where I’ve gambled my house
or car etc. we are not rich so every
penny my husband makes is precious
to him and our future, and I can not
take that from him We have goals and
I need to fulfill my end can you
please tell me if there is a support
line I can get into now until they
receive the money in the mail. I
think talking to people on line with
a similar problem would be much
healthier for me than playing bingo
on line even though I don't play for
money thank you Susan...I am
looking forward to hearing from you
